Just A Game
by Rainbows R Bright
Summary: What felt like forever later and she was finally tired. She sunk in George's arms and he lowered himself and her to the ground cradling her as she quieted. Even the tears wouldn't fall. She was so tired and she just wanted to sleep and never wake up. "When does it all go away?" - Fred/Hermione/George. Post war.
1. Just A Game

**Warning: **Contains Character Death, depression, self harm, and eating disorders. Proceed with caution. This is a story about Fred Hermione AND George. Other than that enjoy.

**Just A Game**

She didn't recognize any one. They were all moving past her in a blur. The air was thick with the smoke from spells that were cast, and she was tripping over rubble and coughing up what she didn't want to believe was blood. She had taken a blow to back that had knocked her out for a good two or three minutes. Now, her first instinct was to run. The castle was in pieces around her, and she didn't know if those around her were good or evil. Tears streaked Hermione Grangers face.

At least she knew her own name. She tipped to the side a bit as she stopped to catch her breath. Her hand reached out for the wall and she braced herself against it for a moment before she began to move again. She reached the great hall and saw all the people crowded around beds. Hagrid stopped her and gripped her too tightly, because instead of coughing up blood she was choking on it. Hagrid stepped back and began yelling for a medi witch. She couldn't remember much after that, because soon her vision was black and clouded and she was on the ground being transferred and treated.

Blinking something was off. She shouldn't be here.

She felt the sheets she was on and they were rough. She felt groggy and knew that she was hurt, but this wasn't the feel of a bed in the hospital wing or St. Mungos. It took her a minute to realize she was on the ground and groaned as she turned to her side. Everything hurt. Finally jerking her eyes open enough to look around she could see a few people in the room that were hurt as well laying on pallets similar to hers. She tried to push herself off the ground, but a witch pushed her back down and jabbed a syringe in her throat before she could respond. Tipping backwards she was engulfed in black once more.

The second time she awoke the room was dark and someone was screaming. Tilting to the side she searched for something to vomit into. Flinging herself from the pallet she crawled toward the door and pulled herself up just enough to get through the door and stumble into the hallway. She searched blindly for a bathroom when she ran into a body and dry heaved The person grasped her and held her upright.

"Bloody hell." She could have recognized that voice anywhere and she fell into his arms. Clinging to the body and crying. "Oh god. Harry!" Ron Weasley held her thin frame and dragged her toward a bedroom. A set of green eyes trained on her as she continued to dry heave and the boys shoved a trashcan into her hands.

"Where did you find her?"

"Stumbling in the hallway. Help me." The red head shoved her to a bed and tilted her to the side. Tears streaming down her face as she fumbled for grasp on him. The two boys looked to each other and then to their friend unsure of what to do when the shrieks started and the tears wouldn't stop.

Hours later and she was finally calm. The two boys were nestled into a bed across the room and she was laying wide awake. Her stomach was churning and the silence was deafening. She wanted out. She couldn't take this solitude of not knowing what was going on any longer. She rolled onto her back and pushed herself up and out of bed. She crept toward the door while careful to make sure that she didn't wake the sleeping bodies. She turned out of the hallway to the left, and finally realized where she was. Grimmauld place. Once she realized where she was at, she crept down the stairs toward the kitchen. The house had the feeling of death, and as she passed open doors she could see large groups of people crammed into each one. Some with blood on their clothing and others who looked innocent compared to what they looked like during the day. They all had something in common though. They were war worn.

Turning from the door she had been looking into and that held Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom, as well as a few other Ravenclaws, she continued toward the kitchen. It was empty thankfully, and she carefully began to prepare herself some hot chocolate. Warming it with her wand she rubbed at her temple to remove a headache, but was unsuccessful. Tilting her head back she downed some of the hot liquid and welcomed the comfort.

Scurrying feet distracted her, and the booming voices of adults were heard and as she turned she could see a group of adults entering the room. The order. Bill, Molly, Percy, and Arthur Weasley. Mad Eye. Tonks and Lupin. Kingsley Shacklebolt and others followed. Hermione stood still contemplating what was happening. The group stopped and stared at her a moment. "Hermione dear. If you wouldn't mind heading back to your room."

"I'm an order member too, and I've been sleeping for what I am assuming are days. Why should I vacate?" She snapped a little harsher than intended and then immediately regretted the decision. She set her hot chocolate down and turned on her heel. As she exited she heard Molly muttering something to the others and then heard her send the twins after her.

"Nice to see you're lovely as ever when you're awake." One of the two chuckled. She turned to them and didn't understand how they could be so chipper after all of this.

"I don't need babysitters." She hissed as she headed back up the stairs, but the twins grabbed her by each arm and steered her the opposite direction and into a room at the end of the hallway. She eyed the two of them carefully ready to lash out as they shut the door behind them.

"Glad you're awake Hermione. Do you remember what happened?" She shook her head gently as they pushed her to the bed. "Charlie died along with Lavender Brown and a lot of other people." Hermione rocked back and frowned. "We won. Voldemort's dead, but we are still in a war."

"W-what…"

"The Death Eater loyalists took over the ministry not long after Voldemort's fall. They killed the minister of magic." Fred was calm and staring at her waiting for her to probably fall apart. However, she had nothing to say. She didn't shake. She didn't cry. She had nothing left.

"Who are all the people here?"

"They are all the people who were hurt or what have you during the battle. You've been here about three days. Harry and Ron came yesterday, don't worry they aren't hurt, they just wanted to check in and see who was fight ready."

"It's been three days since the battle and they are already ready to fight again?" She asked with a frown.

"It will be an easy victory. Lucius is at the head of it all. It's not a game of luck anymore." She pursed her lips with a nod in understanding.

"Well, we can hope." She lamented carefully. The twins were staring at her concerned.

"How are you holding up Hermione?"

"I'm fine. Quit looking at me like I'm going to break." She muttered with a frown. The twins shared a glance and then turned to each other again.

"Alright." The twins said together.


	2. Torn

**Torn**

Three battles. It took three battles to take the ministry back. Over the course of two months. She had been residing at Grimmauld place tending to the sick and dying. They had lost more people than they had wanted, and yet the newly appointed leaders Harry and Ron were obsessed with winning. Hermione had seen about half the people into the after life and had to amputate and reform more limbs and broken bones than she thought was possible. She was dead tired and yet couldn't sleep. All she could see and hear were screams and contorted faces. Tears of loved ones as she bared the news and cries of lovers who couldn't take the pain haunted her bedroom and some nights she screamed along with them to release the pain in her chest. It was the easiest way.

She heard her door open and her war ravished senses were ready to fight in a moments notice. She had her wand in her grip and trained on the person in a second. Jabbed into their neck.

"Hermione! It's just me." _Ron._ She sighed and lowered her wand. The tension in her back softening as she ran a hand over her face and turned away from him. "It's time to go home. The sick and injured have been taken to St. Mungos it's been cleared and re-staffed. We are going back to the Burrow." She swayed for a minute and then fell into his arms.

"Oh thank god!" She clung to him and then finally let go. He led her out of the house and from there they apparated down the street from the safe house. She could feel the warmth as they walked down the road with a light summer rain dripping on their heads. Ron held her hand as they walked and when they finally reached the door Harry brought her to his chest in a large hug.

"It's over." She let out a small sigh of relief and gripped him tightly. The others were in the background and the house was a bustle of family. Hermione was passed between people she hadn't seen since the battle. Ginny. Tonks. Lupin. Molly. Arthur. Everyone was there. Except Charlie. She didn't think about that too much though. They all sat down for a meal and it was a boisterous occasion that she wished she could take part in, but she had seen too much. Done too much. Sure, she hadn't participated in the last three battles, but she had seen enough of their effects to feel like she was drowning in the consequences.

There was a hole where Charlie usually sat and the whole family pretended like it wasn't there. His hand on the clock wasn't moving. It was a sad affair, and Hermione hadn't been conscious for the funeral. It seemed that everyone was moving on though. The twins were pulling pranks, Arthur and Molly looked tired but as in love as ever, and Harry had a glint in his eyes that she hadn't seen in years, but she felt like everything was on fast forward and she was standing alone in the middle of the whirlwind. She frowned and pushed her plate away. Getting up she excused herself and made her way to the bedroom that she would have to herself on the very top floor. The only other people there would be Fred and George. It was better that way. To be alone that is. That way no one would hear her screams.

She glanced out the window where the sun was going down and as happy as she was to get out of the death the encased Sirius' old house, she thought she would be happier to be here, but she felt like nothing had changed much. She still felt alone as ever. Wringing her hands she closed the curtains and tucked herself into bed. She fell asleep with the lights on to scare away the shadows that suffocated her.

"Hermione!"

"Mione!" She didn't realize she had been thrashing around until instead of hitting thin air her limbs were hitting other limbs. She steadied herself with a death grip on a forearm and her eyes widened and the brown orbs looked crazed. Her breathing was erratic as she stared at two identical faces confused. "Finally! You've been screaming for twenty minutes." Her throat did feel rough as she swallowed and pushed herself to a sitting position. "You woke the whole house."

"You didn't. Just Mom and Dad." George shoved his counterpart and smiled down at her. "You alright?" He asked with concern lacing his tone. She nodded and reached for a glass of water that wasn't there. George caught on and pulled out his wand. Transfiguring some water and giving it to her. She sipped at it gratefully.

"Sorry…" She muttered as she set the glass back down.

"Does this happen every night?" She shrugged in response to Fred's question and ignored the look of pity she saw etched on each face.

"I'm fine now. Good night." She muttered as she rolled to her side to shut them off.

"Do you want us to send Ron up?" Her relationship with the youngest boy Weasley was no secret, but her night terrors were something that even he couldn't fix.

"I'm fine." She felt the warm bodies leave the room and couldn't manage to sleep the rest of the night. Instead she took to counting the nails in the wall. Thirty three.


	3. Green Garden

**Green Garden**

Sweat was pooling at her brow as she knelt between Molly and Ginny to pull things from the garden. Tomatos, Greens, Strawberries. Everything they would need for dinner. The boys were riding around on brooms. She was just trying to act as normal as possible. She hadn't slept since the twins had come to her room. That was the night before last. She had barely eaten. Any appetite that she had once had gone, and had been secretly charming away her food under the table. She could see the knowing look in the Twin's eyes, but liked to pretend that it wasn't there.

Passing vegetables to Ginny who was putting them in a basket, she watched the boys for a minute before getting sick to her stomach. "I'm going to go inside for a bit." She muttered as she stood up and swiped at her forehead. Hogwarts would be starting classes again soon, and the once full house would be empty again. Everyone would be going back to daily life. Jobs, school, whatever it was that they deemed normal, and Hermione would be alone again. She didn't know what she wanted to do post Hogwarts.

She had wanted to become a medi-witch at St Mungos before all the healing she did during the battles. Now, she didn't know what she was going to do. Sitting down on the couch she stared out the window for a minute, before she felt a body beside her. Ron.

"Whatcha looking at Hermione?" She shook her head and gave him a forced smile.

"Nothing. Just wanted to rest a minute. It's hot out." They hadn't had time to just sit and be with each other since she got back. Now it felt forced and awkward.

"Come on." Ron held out his hand and she took it. Following him upstairs where he led her to the room that he and Harry shared. He closed the door and then turned to her. Kissing her. It wasn't like it was before. She tried not to frown. She tried to enjoy it, but it wasn't what she wanted right now. "I've wanted to do that since we got back." She smiled at him trying to hide her feelings that months ago she had been so sure about. He pressed another kiss to her lips and she didn't try and stop him even though everything in her was screaming that she should.

Putting her clothes back on Ron was whispering that he loved her, and she was running away. She felt nothing. He was collapsed on the bed, and she felt empty. She had just lost her virginity. Shouldn't there be angles singing or shouldn't she be smited. She thought that was how it worked, but instead she felt like there was a black void in her chest that wasn't going to be filled. She needed a release from the pain. What was that thing that all the witches helping at Grimmauld kept talking about? PTSD? She didn't feel like she had that, but maybe she was just in denial.

Straightening herself she left Ron where he was and headed back downstairs toward the garden. The boys and Molly had all come back inside where they were gathered in the living room. Smelly and drenched from a shower that had caught them off guard they all waved as she walked in. She waved gently back and moved toward the kitchen where she began helping wash vegetables and cutting them up. Preparing a meal that she probably wouldn't eat. Harry came and sat at the table trying to make conversation as she worked. "What have you done today?"

"Helped Molly in the garden, and talked to Ginny some. I think she wants to go shopping tomorrow." The words fell out almost robotically.

"Yeah, thankfully you're here otherwise Ginny would drag me along to all the shops. I think she's excited to go back to Hogwarts, but it will probably be weird that I'm going to be the new DADA teacher. Don't you think?" Hermione shrugged.

"Just try not to get caught." The warning in her tone was real as she glanced at her friend. He smirked and she couldn't help but laugh. A real laugh. Not one that she was faking for once. Maybe this meant that it would get easier. Maybe.

"Hermione. You know you can tell me anything right?" She glanced at him and nodded.

"Of course."

"If you need help dealing with your nightmares. I'm here for you."

"I'm guessing Fred and George got you involved?" He nodded at her with a concerned look on his face.

"Don't worry about me. It was just a nightmare about flying." She joked feigning a light laugh. Harry seemed to calm at this. He was always one to trust her wholeheartedly.

"Good. You had me worried." She smiled at him and turned back to her project.

"No need to worry about me." Even as she said it she could feel the lie, as well as two sets of eyes trained on her back from the doorway. She turned over her shoulder and glanced at them a moment before turning away.

"Has anyone seen Ron?" Molly asked as she stepped into the kitchen and took up a place beside Hermione.

"He's sleeping. I guess taking my virginity was a little much for him." Harry coughed on the drink he had to his lips and the rest of the kitchen went silent. Molly stared at her and Hermione just shrugged before stopping what she was doing and walking away. She didn't feel like it was a big deal. She just wanted to see if she would care if she said it out loud, and she was interested to find that she wasn't. What happened to her over the course of the war?

She made it to her floor and stopped in the mirror glancing at herself. Taking her shirt off she could see her collarbone and hips protruding from her skin. Her stomach was a lot flatter than it had been when she was in school, and her hair was lying flat and lifeless compared to the normal bush that was on her head. Her eyes were the most different though. The usual fire that was in them was dead. There was no life there and she felt like she was staring into a reflection of a black hole. She felt like a walking skeleton. Sliding out of her pants she turned the shower on scalding and climbed in despite the protest from her burning limbs. It made the void a little smaller.

She didn't realize how long she had been beneath the stream of water until it had begun to run cold. Turning off the faucet she climbed out of the shower and headed toward her bedroom. Not worried about a towel or clothing. She gathered her dirty things and began back toward her room dripping wet. Ginny was standing in the hallway talking to the twins.

"Hermione!" The youngest Weasley shrieked when she saw the bareness of Hermione's skin. The girl began shoving her toward her room as the twins snickered.

"Yes Ginny?" Hermione asked bored as she shut the door to her bedroom and dropped the clothes. She used her wand to dry her hair and then moved toward the closet that was full of hand me downs and borrowed or donated clothes from those who felt sorry for her. She pulled a pair of underwear on and a large oversized shirt that covered the scars and bruises that covered her back and marred her otherwise perfect skin.

"What happened to you?" Hermione glanced at the girl with empty eyes.

"The same thing that happened to everyone else, except everyone seems to be taking it much better than I am! If you have a solution to whatever it is that I'm feeling please tell me! I feel like there's a hole in my stomach and no matter what I do it's not going away Ginny! It's not. Don't you dare look at me like that! I don't want your pity!" Hermione snapped at the younger girl. The first amount of emotion she had shown since she had arrived back at the Burrow.

"It's not easy for anyone. We are handling it day by day and being with each other and family, but you're secluding yourself and hiding from us, and we can't help you that way, Hermione… You can't. We want to help you, but you aren't letting us!" Ginny had a point, but she didn't need their help. Want their help. She wasn't a charity case. She could take care of herself.

"I'm fine Ginny. I just want to go to bed." Hermione ran a hand across her face. Her features were tired. "We'll go shopping tomorrow." She added as an afterthought to add a sense of normalcy to the conversation. She wanted it to be like old times even if it wasn't ever going to be like that again.

"Alright Hermione. You're still my best friend. I love you."

"Love you too Gin." The younger girl wrapped her arms around Hermione's bony frame and Hermione tried to return the warmth as best she could before the girl finally left, and she was left alone. Crawling into bed she took up another sleepless night of staring at the ceiling where there were fifty four stripes.


	4. Hold My Hand

**Hold My Hand**

The Burrow has been empty for two weeks. Arthur was off to work. Ron and Harry were off to Hogwarts to teach, and Ginny was off to school. Percy and Bill were headed to the ministry and the twins were still sleeping or concocting. Either way they would head to Weasley's Wizards Wheezes later and she would be alone with Molly who wouldn't even look at her. Ron had tried stuff since that day, but Hermione didn't know what was wrong with her, and didn't want to voice that to anyone. Ron had proposed to her last week and she said yes. They were married on Saturday. A small affair, family only, and Arthur walked her down the aisle instead of her own father.

Ron wanted her to come to Hogwarts, but she couldn't go back there. She still had nightmares about the castle falling in on her. He would be home for Christmas, and some weekends. She would visit him. It would be a normal marriage. That's what she kept telling herself. She may not have enjoyed the intimacy, but they were meant to be together. They were supposed to be together. It was understood, and that's what everyone wanted. Right?

She had lost even more weight if that was possible. She was skin and bones, but she had lost her appetite, and she had scars on her thighs and burns on her arms from the need to make the void full again. Nothing worked. Alcohol. Muggle Drugs. Nothing. She wanted to escape reality. She wanted the pain and the hurt to go away, and she wanted to go back to being human, because at this point she felt more like a drone or a robot. She felt like a walking zombie and she wanted it all to go away.

A knock came at the door and she jumped dropping the glass of water in her hand. It crashed at her feet and cut her foot, but she ignored it and opened the door to the twins.

"Want to come with us to Hogsmeade? We are going to the shop and could use your help." She glanced between the two of them and frowned.

"What kind of help?

"Shop stop. Organizing. Cleaning. All those things we aren't good at." She shrugged lightly and figured why not? She wasn't doing much here and she couldn't stand the silence much longer.

"Alright." Closing the door after they walked off she quickly dressed in a loose pair of jeans and a shirt that could fit her and two other people. Slipping on some shoes she headed out the door and down the stairs where the twins were waiting. George took her elbow to apparate her there and she frowned all the way through the "Pop".

Hogsmeade was a bustle of people. It didn't feel like everything had happened just three months ago, but it had, and it seemed that everyone in the wizarding world had forgotten about it but her. Kingsley was the new minister of magic and everyone felt safe. She still felt scared.

She followed them to the shop and stepped in after Fred unlocked the door. Within minutes the shop was full and both twins were busy leaving her with a register that she had to figure out how to work. It was slow work at first. Work that made her head hurt. She could feel the twins eyes on her as she counted out coins and wrapped purchases. She tried to ignore them and continued to make work of the line that had formed. It kept her mind busy and that was something she enjoyed.

"How was your first day?" Fred asked as he hopped on the counter beside where she was standing. She shrugged and folded the parchment she had written the days numbers on.

"It was fine." She leaned against the counter between the twins and frowned at a wall of jokes.

"Is everything just fine to you? Nothing else to say?" George asked narrowing his eyes with concern. She didn't respond and the twins finally picked up on the silence.

"Either way. We also wanted to let you know that we have an extra room in our flat upstairs. We know that it's hard to live with the parents and this way you'll be closer to Ron." Hermione contemplated the offer. It was very tempting. "You'll be alone ninety percent of the time." That was what finally sold her on the idea. She nodded.

"That would be nice. Thanks." The twins nodded and locked up the shop before leading her upstairs. The flat was small and cozy. Obviously hadn't been cleaned in a while, and everything was mismatched. She followed down a hallway. There were two doors at the end. One that she assumed went to their room, and the other that went to the extra room.

"We'll pay you to work for us Hermione. We just figured this would be easier for you than being alone." She nodded and turned toward the room. It had plenty of furniture and she could see the closet was full of more hand me downs. She was getting used to the ragged clothing that she got from Ginny at this point. She was about a foot shorter than the younger girl and thinner. Ginny was getting taller and more curvy as she got older. Hermione felt like she was shrinking in height and waist size. Anything the youngest Weasley couldn't wear anymore got handed to Hermione. Not that she was complaining. She had nothing else.

"Thanks." The twins hovered for a minute before finally leaving her to settle in. She didn't know what else to do except sit there and stare out the window overlooking the street.

Ron came to visit her a few weeks later. He brought a cup a soup and a scent of failed potions.

She performed her wifely duties faking it as she had since the first time and laid beside him as he fell asleep. "Im glad you're staying so close 'Mione." She glanced down at him and he was looking up at her with hooded eyes.

"Mhm." She hummed as she turned to look at the ceiling again. "You should get going. You have class in the morning." She muttered in the hope that he would leave. He was the new potions teacher, and she knew that he had class at first block with the Slytherins. Nudging him away from her as he tried to grab at her she frowned and tried to be playful. "Go." With one last kiss he finally got up and left and she was alone again. Like she enjoyed.

She got up for work the next morning and dressed in a plain grey shirt and jeans that were always too big. Stepping in the kitchen to grab some water she nearly hurled at the smell of bacon and toast.

"Want some?" She shook her head and watched in disgust as the twins shoveled food in their mouths.

"Figured you would be hungry after that fun night that you and Ronnie-kins had." She stopped her glass on the way to her mouth and frowned. "Well, Ron seemed to be having fun at least. You were quiet as ever Granger. We didn't even have to charm the room." George chuckled at his brothers words and Hermione turned away from them. "Seems that our younger brother is as gullible as ever though. Nice to know that things haven't changed." She felt bad about not enjoying it, but she didn't want to let him down. She wanted to live a normal life. She wanted to marry him and have kids just like she had always dreamed, but almost a month into their marriage and a sex life that made her want to vomit, and she was already doubting them as a couple. She hadn't accepted it herself until Fred and George had pointed it out.

"Silence does not mean that I wasn't enjoying it." She hissed and turned on her heel to head down the stairs.


	5. Human

**Human**

She didn't know they were home. She was sobbing in the bathroom. They were supposed to be gone. She was desperately trying to mop up the blood, but it was no use as they pushed open the door and pulled her off the floor. She cried even more as George held her in his arms and Fred wrapped the cut that was a little too deep in her wrist.

"Why did you do this?" Fred looked at her with concern as he wiped up the blood and George put her in bed.

She awoke hours later screaming and she couldn't stop even after she was awake. The darkness was suffocating her and the screams were being choked out with sobs and just wouldn't stop coming. The twins crashed in her room with sleep in their eyes and a disheveled look about them. They each grabbed her and one cradled her head while the other held her legs. They let her stay like that. A maniac screaming when there was nothing to be screaming about, but the visions in her head were powerful, and they didn't have to say it for her to know that they understood.

A few minutes of that and they finally had her calmed down enough that she was sitting motionless in their arms. Her breathing ragged as she stared at the ceiling as she did every night.

"Hermione… Does Ron know about this?" She shook her head gently and swallowed before talking. Her fingers wrapping themselves in Fred's shirt.

"Please don't tell him." She muttered as stray tears slipped from her eyes. She hadn't seen him in almost two months because he was busy, but Christmas was coming up, and she didn't want to ruin anything.

"Hermione. You don't eat. You don't sleep. You have episodes that cause you to scream for hours, and look at the scars on your legs." She didn't realize that her legs were exposed, and she moved George's hand from where it pointed out a scar and pulled her shirt down.

"Someone has to help you. Why not your _husband?"_ Hermione stared at him and sobs bubbled in her throat again.

"I thought if I married him everything would be normal again. I thought _I _would be normal again. I don't know what to do. Everything hurts, and nothing helps. Ron doesn't even help anymore. He just wants sex and I can't even give him that. I just want this to go away. I'm empty. There's this ache that won't go away and I don't know what else to do because everyone else is acting all normal and like everything is okay, and it's not… it-s not-t…" She stammered and sobbed more. The twins held her as she cried trying their best to hold her together.

"Everything will be okay." Fred whispered as he looked to his brother for help. The petite witch in their hands was a mess and neither of them knew what to do. They weren't usually affected by a woman crying. Especially not a woman who was supposed to be their sister-in-law, and hated her husband. The girl was only nineteen years old. Of course she wasn't able to handle everything that a war had handed her. Loss and death. She didn't even have an innocence to cling to anymore.

She had spent the entire last year traveling around killing and trying not be killed to help her best friends, and then another half of a year trying to heal people and keep them from dying. Instead she just got to watch people die. It didn't help that no one understood. Everyone was fine except for her. She was a mess. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. That's what those witches had said. Now she was beginning to accept it and just hoped that it would go away.

"Hermione, why do you keep hurting yourself?" George looked at her with concern in his eyes. More grown up than she had ever seen him. Both of them looked so much older now that they had scene just as much as she had.

"It's the only thing that makes me feel better." She muttered as she glanced between the two of them. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath.

"Know what you need? A beer." George looked at his brother like he was crazy. "Seriously. It will take the edge off. Come on." He picked Hermione up and she couldn't help but smile a little as he took her to the living room and set her on the couch. It was just like the twins to try and make light of the situation.

George sat beside her on the couch and smiled. "I know how you feel." He muttered. "Fred almost died in the battle at Hogwarts. Thankfully he didn't. The room you're staying in was my room, but I kept having nightmares of losing Fred, and so I had to move into his. Embarrassing, huh?" He chuckled at himself and ran a hand through disheveled hair. She tucked a brown curl behind her ear and tried to crack a smile, but tears ended up running down her cheeks again.

"Sometimes I think it would have been better to die." She choked on a sob and George put his arm around her.

"Don't think that sweet Hermione. You're smart and pretty. The world would be at a loss without you. You have a husband and you guys are going to have lots of kids. Annoying kids, that's Ron's fault not yours, but kids nonetheless. We are going to be the obnoxious uncles that you shield your daughters from and regret sending your sons to spend the night with, and you're going to babysit all of our kids. You're going to get a good job that's not in the joke shop, and everything will be alright." Hermione nodded wishing that she could accept that herself. She wished that she could believe him, but she just couldn't. How could she make a life with someone that she was repulsed by when they touched her? That she couldn't even make conversation with anymore? Someone that used to be her best friend? She couldn't do it. She was beginning to regret marrying Ron. It would have been easier to just live alone.

"Ron will be back in fourteen days. Everything will be fine." Fred said as he handed her a beer. Of course they thought everything would be okay just because Ron was back. She took a drink of the beer and was quiet. It was obvious that they didn't understand. They were right when they said it took the edge off.


	6. I Cant Hear a Word You Say

I Can't Hear a Word You Say

"Hermione!" Her husband bounded toward her and she forced a smile and tried to give him as nice of a hug as possible. The others were watching the lovers embrace and she just hoped that she was playing her act well. She let him kiss her and pretended to like it, but when he pulled back and eyed her she knew that she wasn't doing a good job.

The Burrow was decorated extravagantly for Christmas. Presents were stacked under the tree for everyone, half of them hand made by Molly, and the other half bought from somewhere on Diagon Alley. Hermione had taken the time to wrap each one before the whole family got here. It kept her hands busy and her mind off things. Ron's grip on her waist was painful as he walked her through the house and out the back door.

"Are you cheating on me Hermione?" The accusatory tone in his voice took her aback for a minute and she narrowed her brow.

"What are you talking about?"

"My whole family can see the way you act when I even get close to you! You get all stiff and rigid and act like you can't stand me! They probably think I beat you! Hermione, you are my wife. Did I do something wrong?" The glint in his eyes was almost painful for her and she shook her head gently.

"Not at all. I'm sorry. It's been a long day." She lied as she reached out for him and wrapped her arms around him gently. That seemed to satiate him for now.

Later that night, she lay in bed beside her husband. The first time she had slept beside someone in months, and she couldn't sleep. She didn't want to wake him up with her screams. She slipped out quietly when she heard him snoring and headed downstairs and out the door. There were no lights on in the Burrow and the crisp December air bit at her nose, but it was welcome.

Digging her toes in the ground she stood in the cold for longer than she expected when she heard someone behind her.

"Hermione?" She turned and saw Fred and George in the doorway. "What are you doing?"

She shrugged and saw the sun begin to rise. She had been out here a while and her toes were stiff. She turned and headed back toward the door pushing past the twins.

"Hermione?" This time it was Fred who called her name, and instead of answering she just turned and headed back toward the bedroom.

She slipped in beside him quietly and when he woke he pulled her to him, and she tried not to cringe or pull back. She let what happens happen and tried to just shut her mind off. Ron didn't even notice the scars or the sunkenness of her cheeks.

Harry was the first to begin questioning her.

"You look off Hermione." He said as he held Ginny delicately on his lap. They were the epitome of a happy couple.

"I'm fine."

"Hermione, you look like you've lost a lot of weight." The youngest Weasley commented and Hermione tucked a dull strand of hair behind her ear and shook her head. The two of them looked happy and unaffected by the war, while she was slowly falling apart. She thought that marrying Ron was the answer, but she could see that she was wrong.

That Christmas Harry proposed to Ginny, Bill married Fleur, and Lupin and Tonks birthed Teddy. Hermione felt like she was suffocating.

"Do you still love me Hermione?" She turned over her shoulder from the closet where she was buttoning her shirt in the doorway.

"Of course." She said lifelessly as she glanced at him. He was putting on his shoes and packing his things to go back to Hogwarts.

"I just wanted to make sure." His smile didn't quite reach his eyes, and Hermione knew that she wasn't being convincing. There wasn't much else she could do. She was tired of lieing.

She watched him leave with Ginny and Harry, and then apparated back to the flat. Fred and George were already there and glanced up when she came in.

"We are going flying. Wanna come?" She blinked at them and contemplated it for a minute.

"No thanks."

"We aren't really giving you an option." They approached her and grabbed her. Her thin frame had lost any fight she used to have and she wet her lips as she tried to escape their grasp. She was terrified of heights. They led her into the streets of Hogsmeade where George climbed on his broom and Fred climbed on his. The latter pulled her on in front of him, and his arms wrapped around her. His chest pressed against her back as he kicked off the ground, and George took the lead.

She let the winter air bite at her face as she glanced around the snow covered town. Surprisingly she wasn't scared. The hole in her chest was forgotten as George skirted close to her and Fred and then sped up. Fred sped up behind him and soon Hermione was comfortable. She wouldn't realize until later that she was actually smiling. A real smile for the first time since the war. What happened months ago was the last thing on her mind. Ron was the last thing on her mind. All she could think about was how free she felt and she let out a breathy laugh when they finally landed.

"Thank you." She said as Fred let her climb off the broom.

"You're welcome Princess."

"Princess?"

"You look like you're wearing a crown of snow. Plus, it has a nice ring to it." Hermione couldn't tell if her cheeks were just flushed or if she was blushing, but either way it was the first color on her face in months. She brushed the snow from her hair and turned away from the twins to head inside.

She wouldn't see Ron again for four months.


	7. Take Your Aim

**Take your Aim**

"Stay." She whispered as the twins brushed away her nightmares with gentle hands in her hair. The two boys looked at each other over her head, and nodded in agreement. George turned the light off and Fred pulled Hermione toward his chest. George sat beside them and reached a hand out to stroke her hair. Fred pulled the covers over them and Hermione felt comfortable for the first time in a long time. She didn't care that she had a husband and she was lying in bed with his two brothers. It wasn't like that. They were keeping away everything that was haunting her and that's what she needed. No one said anything. The boys just held her, and she was quiet as she stared at the darkness, before finally slipping into a sleep that she couldn't remember.

It went on like that for several nights, before finally nothing had to be said at all. She woke screaming and they were there already crawling into bed where she would engulf herself in their heat and fall back asleep. It was a routine that she was hesitant to break, but when Ron finally came to see her she had no choice but to give up that safety that she had initially. The fact that it had been a year since the war was beginning to stress her out and nightmares were more frequent, but she had no choice but to let Ron stay with her.

Something was different about him, but she didn't want to mention it as they lay in the darkness. His snoring started and she couldn't even remember when she fell asleep, but was awoken by Ron talking heatedly to the twins who were shaking her. She opened her eyes and carefully eyed the three of them.

"I'm alright." Ron was fuming. You could tell by the redness of his ears.

"Why did no one think they should tell me that my wife was screaming in her sleep every night?" He hissed through gritted teeth. Hermione stared at the twins with a calculating and daring gaze.

"This is the first night it's happened. I promise." She whispered glaring at the twins to agree. They nodded carefully and Ron, hesitant at first, soon nodded.

"Are you alright dear?" She nodded and curled into his embrace as the twins backed out.

Ron left again two days later and the twins immediately approached her.

"Why didn't you tell Ron about your nightmares?" Fred interrogated as she sipped at hot coffee. She had gotten better about eating, and she hadn't done any drastic self harm for about a month. She shrugged.

"Hermione… you need help and you know it." George hissed as he glared. She hadn't seen anyone so concerned about her in a while.

"I'm fine."

"Dammit Hermione. Are you going to keep telling yourself these lies forever? You wake up every night screaming! You barely eat enough to keep your body sustained, and you have scars up and down your body from where you try to hurt yourself! What is it going to take for you to get help? Us finding you dead on the bathroom floor?" Fred hissed as he slammed his coffee cup on the counter.

"Hell, you don't even look at Ron like you did before the war and your married to him! When is he going to realize that you're faking it? That you ask other guys to stay in bed with you when you wake up screaming? That your scars aren't just from scratches and that you fake it whenever he even does anything intimate to you? Ron's probably been shacking up with one of the teachers at school for months if he realizes that he's not getting it here." Hermione's blood was boiling. She hadn't felt much in the way of true emotions in months, but why did their words suddenly hurt so much.

"Shut up!" She hissed as she removed herself from the chair and stood to face her attackers. "You don't know anything! Either of you! You're two gits who don't understand!" She crossed her arms and backed up.

"No, of course we don't understand! We just lost our brother Hermione! But we don't understand what you're going through! You're right! Know-it-all witch who can't even please her husband." That was a low blow and Hermione felt like she had been punched in the stomach.

"Says the guys who get in their brothers wifes bed each night! Don't act like I'm the only one at fault. You don't know anything about me so who are you to judge what I'm going through? No, I didn't lose my brother, but I lost plenty of other people and that should count for something."

The twins began to laugh and she looked at them with wild eyes as they shook their heads at her.

"There she is. The old Hermione. You're beginning to get that fire back in your eyes princess. We should make you mad more often." She glanced between the two of them and let out a huff. She realized how nice it felt to yell. It was a release that she hadn't felt in months. It was exhilarating. She felt something then and she didn't want it to go away. George stepped toward her first and pulled her to his chest in a hug, then Fred followed suit, and she laughed along with them, and that felt nice too.


	8. Keep Me Warm

**Keep Me Warm**

Her cheeks were beginning to fill out. Not by much, but it was something. There was a change in her. There was a blush to her cheeks that wasn't there before. She wasn't completely cured. She was still having nightmares, and the primal need to have pain were still there, but she was getting better. That was something. She was currently sitting at the bar down the road with the twins. An oversized spring dress that Ginny had left her hung loosely on her frame. She was on her third fire whiskey, and she didn't know what they were on, but the three of them were laughing at something she couldn't quite remember if it was as funny as it is now three minutes ago.

Stumbling against them, she held the arm of each boy as they headed back to the flat. "My cheeks are so warm and I-I- Ca-cant feel my tongue." She giggled and stumbled up the stairs. Fred and George secured her and laughed themselves. When they were finally upstairs she set the bottle that she had been clinging to on the table and turned to them. "There's two of you." She thought she hilarious under the influence of alcohol. It was the first time that she had truly had a good time in a while.

"I think it's time for princess to lay down." Fred said as he began ushering her toward the bedroom. She shook her head and laughed.

"I think it's time to dance!" She tripped toward radio and turned it on. "Aw it's a slow song!" She clapped happily and took Fred in her arms and began to move around the room with a giggle. Soon she had released him and grabbed George. Stumbling over both their feet she laughed and gripped him tighter, until they both fell on the ground in a heap of chuckles. "Alright, I think I'm tired now." She said as she yawned and pushed George off her.

She headed toward her room and slipped into the bed. "Hey!" She called and the two boys appeared in the doorway looking concerned. "Come join me. I don't wanna be alone." She stammered like a child. The alcohol was still pulsing through her system, but was beginning to wear off as her eyelids became heavy.

The boys crawled in beside her and she smiled as she nestled between them. Opening her eyes one last time as George turned off the bedside lamp. She pressed a kiss to the edge of his mouth and the edge of Fred's. "I love you guys." She was soon asleep and the boys were staring at each other in the dark knowing that she wouldn't remember a bit of this in the morning.

She woke up with a pounding headache and the weight of two bodies in bed with her. She was half on top of one of them and the other was curled against her back. Usually they were gone before she woke up, but not this morning. Her bed was hardly big enough for one person nonetheless two. She blinked and tried to think about what happened last night and realized that it was the first night that she had just let go in a long time.

As she tried to lift herself out of bed, she realized what a bad decision it was when the nausea hit and she was scrambling over the top of George to get to the bathroom. She spent the rest of the morning regretting her night out and Fred and George taking turns holding her hair. She was thankful when she was finally alright and could keep down solid food.

"I'm never drinking with you guys again." The two looked at each other and smirked.

"Yes you are." They chuckled and continued eating their late lunch. "When is Ron done?" They asked, but they knew about as much as she did. His last owl didn't say much. '_Hermione, Be home soon. Miss you and love you. Ron.'_

"I don't know." She shrugged. She didn't really care. The distance was ruining their relationship, and she was beginning to think that she shouldn't have rushed into the marriage. At least she may be able to work it out. She would try.

Hermione had taken to getting drunk with the twins every weekend they didn't have to work. It was the one time she could be carefree and she didn't have to worry about anything. By the end of the month she had gained meet back on her hips, but was still thin overall. She was beginning to actually feel like the hole was going away. She just needed to admit to herself that something was wrong. This was much better than the alternative of slowing killing herself.

She smiled at the twins as they walked down the sidewalk and to home. They were being reckless. Laughing loudly not caring who heard, and when they finally reached their block Fred threw her over his shoulder and began up the stairs with her. She was beating against his back when they opened the door and stumbled in. Fred stopped quickly and Hermione frowned as he let her down. When she saw the reason she suddenly felt very sober. Ron was standing in the living room.

"I came to surprise you, but I see that you are a little preoccupied by my brothers hands all over your ass." The statement stabbed at her, but through her alcohol induced haze she couldn't think of anything to say. Fred narrowed his eyes.

"Now look here Ron. Did you expect her to just wait around for you all the time? Is she not allowed to have a little fun?" Ron's ears were red from anger and he was calmly trying to control it.

"Of course she can, but that fun should have limits. Like keeping her body to herself. She's married afterall." Ron narrowed his eyes at the twins and turned back to her. "You're moving back to the Burrow." If she didn't feel sober before, she certainly was now and she shook her head.

"Why?" Ron looked at her as if she had asked him to recite the entirety of Pi.

"Why? Because I am your husband and I said so." He hissed as he gripped her elbow and began to steer her toward the bedroom to pack her things. She knew that she didn't have much say in the matter.

"Like you've been so faithful Ron." George's words had him spinning on his heel and causing Hermione's head to swish. "From what I hear around the shop you're enjoying teaching a little too much if you catch my drift." Now she was swaying from something other than the alcohol. She stared at the three brothers and tried to process it all.

"You're ridiculous, and drunk. Hermione. We are leaving." Ron began toward the door and held his hand out to her.

"I'm not enough for you?" She asked with narrowed eyes. She didn't really care, but she had to know.

"Hermione… Are you going to believe them or me?" He asked holding her head in his hands. She didn't know what to believe when everything was so hazy. She blinked and tried to grasp a hold on reality but everything was spinning.

"Ron… you've written me one letter since your last visit. What am I supposed to think?" She slurred as he stared at her. He released her and she stumbled backwards into George's arms.

"Easy there 'Mione." George stabilized her against him and she wished that everything would just stop going in circles.

"Fine Hermione. I'll come back tomorrow when you can handle rational thought. How about that?" The younger brother hissed. She cringed backwards. "Keep your hands off my wife." His threat echoed in the silence of the room as he slammed the door and left. That's when the tears came. Not for what was probably the end of her marriage, but because she was so dizzy and she just wanted it all to be over.

"Princess? What's wrong?" The twin that wasn't holding her looked at her concerned as the two of them led her to the couch. She just shook her head and curled up in their laps. Nothing else needed to be said. They understood and just held her as she tried to fall asleep.


	9. Who You Are

**Who You Are**

The divorce papers were signed. It hadn't even been a year. This had to be a new record for the marriage world. She frowned as she sent the owl off through the kitchen window. Fred and George were sitting at the kitchen table and didn't say anything. She found out that Ron had been hooking up with Luna Lovegood, and that was why he had become so distant. She figured that she should have seen it coming, and deep down… she knew that she was glad for the split.

It was hard to take the wedding band off. She hid it in her dresser away from view. She could still feel it sometimes. A phantom touch on her finger reminding her of sweaty nights that she hated and a crumbling relationship that was never meant to be. Turning toward the doorway she saw the two men that had been there from the beginning of this nightmare and gave them a partial smile.

"You alright?" Fred asked and she nodded slightly.

"Getting there. I'm beginning to feel more like myself." She muttered as she crossed her arms over her chest. She stepped toward the twins and hugged each of them in turn. "Thanks for being there for me."


	10. Say Something

**Say Something**

They were spending the day at the Burrow. She was sitting in the yard at a table sandwiched between Fred and George. Harry and Ginny were sitting across from them, and they were all playing a card game and laughing.

"This is the happiest I've seen you in months Hermione." Ginny said as she put down a card, and Harry followed suit. Hermione just smiled at her and shrugged calculating her next move.

Ron had showed up at the get together as well, with a new girl on his arm. Hannah Caldwell. A recent graduate of Hogwarts, and Fred and George were trying to keep her attention away. George had his hand on her thigh skirting close to the hem of her dress, and Fred had a hand on her lower back. They were both drawing patterns in her skin and she was trying to keep a straight face as she made small talk with the couple across from her.

Arthur came out the door and the twins removed their hands acting like nothing happened. "Hello Hermione." He called giving her a one armed hug. "The boys treating you well at the joke shop?"

"Of course!" The Weasley's still treated her like family despite the situation. She smiled at him and turned back to her game as he dragged the twins away to do chores, and Harry ended up leaving too after getting roped in by Molly. She was left with Ginny and the younger girl was looking at her like she was about to break.

"Does it bother you?"

"What?" Ginny glanced toward Ron and the blonde that was hanging off his arm.

"The fact that it hasn't even been a month." Hermione glanced at them and shrugged.

"We weren't meant to be and I realize and accept that. It doesn't bother me." She was only partially lying. She did care a little, but at the same time. She couldn't. She hadn't cared when they got married, and she couldn't care now. She didn't have it in her.

"You did wonderful tonight despite our pig headed brother." It was true that she had almost hexed the snot out of the aforementioned Weasley, but she just smiled.

"I'm not worried about him much." She lamented as she moved toward the kitchen. The boys were leaned against the wall looking at her. Their shirts showed off flat stomachs and muscular chests. Broad jawlines that she hadn't noticed when they were in school and unkempt hair fell down into faces. She was seeing them unlike the boys that she had always seen them as, and more as what they were. Handsome men that had cared for her through all the shit that she had been put through the past year.

She made busy in the kitchen by making them all tea and washing the dishes. As she poured hot cups and set them on the table, she could see the look in their eyes and didn't know how to feel about it. They moved toward her predatorily and her first instinct was to back toward the kitchen counter.

"What do you want?" She asked accusingly. She tipped her head to the side as Fred placed a hand on her hip. "What are you doing?"

"You're just so cute when you're playing house." He muttered as George pressed to her exposed side and placed a kiss to her temple. She shut down when lips skimmed hers and she didn't know how to react back. A different set of lips pressed harder than the first and she reacted out of habit. Her mind was blank. She didn't want to shut off, but she couldn't help it. After everything, this was something that was going to take time.

They took note of her resistance and pulled back in confusion. They glanced between each other and her cheeks flushed red as they backed away. They took her rejection and turned away from her to head back to her room. She ran a hand through her hair in frustration before heading to bed herself. The tea abandoned on the table.

She spent that night alone.

It was silent for weeks. They only spoke in formalities, and while the nightmares were still there they didn't run in to try and protect her anymore. She would wake up in a cold sweat and staring at a dark room.

Her dreams were always the same. She would get a glimpse of all the people who she had seen die, and she would watch them die all over again. Tonight though, it was different. Her parents were dying. They were being killed and she could only stand and watch. She was screaming but no one was listening. Jerking herself awake her throat was rough and scratchy. She swallowed to try and get some moisture, but it was to no avail. She sat up in the bed and wiped the sweat from her face and tried to slow her breathing down. She didn't know how long she had been screaming, but her throat felt like it was going to explode.

Bare feet hit the cold ground and she walked shakily to the bathroom to wash her face. She splashed cold water across it to try and wake her up. The view from the window suggested that it was early morning and there was no way she was getting back to sleep.

The metal spoon scraped against the pot as she stirred the milk to warm it. Sprinkling a little bit of cinnamon into it she heard her stomach growl. She heard footsteps behind her and the sound of someone yawning. "What are you doing up so early?" She turned to see George wiping sleep from his eyes.

"I couldn't sleep." She muttered in response. Surprised that she hadn't woken him up from her shrieking. Maybe her screaming had been a dream, but the scratchiness in her throat suggested otherwise.

"Hmm…" The silence between her and the twins was deafening recently, and for what? Because she wouldn't kiss them? She had just gotten out of a marriage because she couldn't stand the intimacy between her and her husband and supposed best friend. How was she supposed to deal with aforementioned husbands brothers? Nonetheless her own demons.

"I'm going to the doctor later." She said into the space. She said it more for herself than for his benefit, but she just felt like she should let someone know. She glanced over her shoulder at him and he only nodded. Reaching for a glass she began to pour the milk. She heard Fred enter the room and his sudden appearance caused her to jump and drop the pot on her foot. Reacting to the burn she jerked back and watched as the hot liquid trickled down the counter. Fred was next to her in a moment and she bent beside him with a towel. Their shoulders brushed occasionally and she ignored the fact that they were taking turns eyeing each other in their peripherals.

The sleeping draught the witch at St Mungos had given her for the nightmares seemed to be helping. She was sleeping better at least. It was keeping the dreams at bay, and now instead of seeing death she was just seeing darkness which was a welcome change.

Her bed was still empty and the companionship she had once felt in the twins was gone. So, she figured she would take advantage of their little sister. She needed actual girl time, and her wardrobe was severely lacking in clothes that weren't masculine or oversized. She aparrated to Diagon Alley just in time to catch the recent Hogwarts graduate waiting for her. Hermione smiled as the girl bounded toward her and gripped her a little too tightly.

"How are you Ginny?" The red head smiled at her and linked arms as they began walking.

"Holding up." Hermione could tell that the girl was hiding something, but didn't press the matter.

The first store they entered was filled with all kinds of frilly clothes in various shades of pink and Hermione couldn't help but cringe a little. She appeased the younger girl by acting interested, when really all she wanted to do was curl up in bed. None of this interested her anymore.

Several shops and part of her paycheck later they finally stopped at an ice cream shop to cool down from the summer heat. "I need to tell you something, but you have to promise not to tell anyone." Hermione nodded and crossed her heart as Ginny became solemn. "I'm pregnant, and I don't know what to do or who to tell." She glanced at the younger girl and tried to scramble for words to say, but as tears pooled in her eyes the only thing that Hermione could do was hug her. She didn't know what the best option would be. "Hermione, you're smart. I need your advice." For once in her life, the older witch was at a loss for words.

"I don't know what to tell you Gin."


	11. Lovesong

**lovesong**

**A/N: **Hey lovely readers! If you are enjoying the story please leave a review! I would love to know what you guys think so far! (:

Harry and Ginny's wedding was moved up by three months. No one questioned why Ginny couldn't fit into her dress and had to get last minute alterations, or why Molly was putting a crib up at the newlyweds new house. They didn't question why the wedding list went from over a hundred to a handful of about fifty or why it wasn't broadcast to the world like it was going to be. Instead, it was a small and intimate affair despite the circumstances.

She smiled at Harry and he winked at her as Ginny walked down the aisle. She had already had the best friend talk with him before the wedding and now he stood confidently. Hermione was waving a fan in her face from the front row to fend off the heat, and she was sneaking glances at a boy named Henry who was eyeing her from across the aisle. Ron was two seats away from her with some new blonde, and Arthur sat a little too close with his arm brushing hers. The heat of the outdoors was almost unbearable in these conditions.

The service seemed to last forever, and when it was finally over and she could head to the reception she was almost positive her back was drenched in sweat. Tilting her head back she downed the first glass of alcohol that she could get her hands on and then immediately picked up another glass. She could see the twins across the floor. They were watching her from over the heads of Angela Johnson and some girl from Ravenclaw. She tipped her glass to them before gulping that one down as well and slamming it on the table.

Hermione took up residence at a secluded table in the back. She hadn't talked to many of these people in years and all they seemed to want to talk about was how she was doing and what her future plans and goals were. She wanted to just stomp on their foot and scream. She was tired of all the small talk and a headache was beginning to form. Rubbing at her temple she glanced around the room and noticed that a shaggy blonde from the service was making his way toward her.

Henry had that smile of someone who knew what he wanted and got it, and in the pit of her stomach she knew that something was her. She wasn't quite the best dressed, but she looked nice. She was wearing a dress that she didn't quite fill out and her hair was piled on her head. Wasn't this what weddings were about though? Despite how you looked. The one night stands and the alcohol. It sounded reasonable to her. When he finally reached her she stood and without talking joined him on the dance floor.

Henry's flat was small compared to the one she shared with the twins. It had one bedroom and a small kitchen. Instead of being surrounded by shops, it was surrounded by flats filled with other witches and wizards. Hermione glanced around the room tipsily and giggled when he pressed a kiss to her neck and had a hand on the zipper of the navy dress.

As clothes fell to the floor and sloppy kisses were exchanged, she knew that this was nothing like it was with Ron. Henry hadn't seen the things that she and the others had. He didn't have the look of war in his eyes and he didn't treat her like she could die at any moment. She was not someone who was scarred and broken. She was just a pretty girl that he had found at a wedding and wanted to hook up with, and he was just a handsome guy that she would hook up with again three more times over the course of the month.

She and Henry weren't in any sort of relationship. She went to his flat on nights when they were both lonely and treated each other like they were the only people in the world. It was a relationship without attachments. There were no strings, and no one was there to tell her that she was wrong for what she was doing. They were just two twenty year olds who wanted nothing more than a warm body to sleep next to and to feel like someone cared.

The emptiness inside her was still there, but it was getting smaller.

She found out that Henry had been in Ravenclaw. His parents had pulled him out of the country during the war and he had just come back last year, which explained why he would never understand or notice the darkness in her eyes or the fact that she had killed people. The beautiful part of the whole situation was that he didn't need to know. He didn't want to know! They were just helping each other out and she didn't find anything wrong with it.

Slipping her shoes off as she entered the flat above the joke shop she wiped the mascara from under her eyes when she stopped in the bathroom. She caught a glimpse of red in the mirror and turned to see the twins standing in the doorframe staring at her. "Long night?" Fred raised an eyebrow at her and her cheeks felt flush as she narrowed her eyes at them.

"Not exactly. I went for a walk." George rolled his eyes.

"We aren't stupid Hermione. We know exactly what you have been doing." Hermione glanced at them with narrowed brown eyes too tired to fight.

"Alright."

"We want you moved out by the end of the week."

"What?" The pitch of her voice raised a bit as she glanced between the two of them.

"This just isn't working out anymore." She felt like she had been punched in the stomach. She kept telling herself that she was in a bad dream. She had nowhere to go. Resting her head against the pillow she cried. She cried because she didn't know who this person that she had become was. She cried because she was thinking of all the scars and the binges and the times that she felt repulsed at being with Ron. Hermione Granger was not this person. She was not weak.

"You are weak." She said into the darkness of her bedroom. "You can't even sleep without the use of potions." Pushing herself up she picked the potion bottle up from the bedside table and threw it at the wall watching the clear vile shatter and it's purple contents seep down the wall and across the floor. She ripped the blankets from the bed and tossed those as well. Her hands shaking as she pounded a fist into the wall. She couldn't bring herself to stop sobbing and shrieking as the twins pulled her away from the wall and held her.

"Hermione. You need help." She was tired of hearing them say that. She was tired of them treating her like she was crazy. They hadn't seen things that she had. They didn't have to cut a witches wand arm off or try to sew someones head back up when it was gushing blood. They didn't have to hear people scream as they bled to death or identify cold bodies. They didn't understand. When she closed her eyes all she could see was their lifeless eyes.

"You don't get to say that!" She screamed as she pounded against Fred's chest while George held her from behind. "I don't need help!"

What felt like forever later and she was finally tired. She sunk in George's arms and he lowered himself and her to the ground cradling her as she quieted. Even the tears wouldn't fall. She was so tired and she just wanted to sleep and never wake up. "When does it all go away?"


	12. Turning Tables

**Turning Tables**

**A/N:** Hey Guys! If you are enjoying so far please Read && Review! I would LOVE to hear what you think about the story so far!

She had finally agreed that moving out was best. She got a job in the muggle world at a bookstore and was trying to lead as normal of a life as possible. She went to a muggle doctor and was on some medications that seemed to be helping. She was almost happy for once. Her wand was hidden in her dresser with the wedding band that she didn't believe in, and she was alright for now. She had realized some things in the seven weeks she had been away from everyone. It was coming time to go back though. She got the owl yesterday.

"_Ms. Hermione Granger."_ It was inviting her as a guest of the Weasley family to a ball hosted by the ministry. It was raising money for those who were still affected by the war and to honor those who had been involved. She didn't want to go, but she didn't see any other choice. She didn't want to let anyone down.

She closed the shop that night and headed back to the small flat that she had gotten above a little café. Glancing through her closet she pulled out a floor length black gown and quickly showered before sliding into it. It was a little loose, but it fit as nice as it could. She let her curls down. The thick tresses had been tamed since she left Hogwarts, and were now in gentle waves down her shoulders and back. Slipping on a pair of heels and grabbing her wand she took a deep breath as she apparated to a world that she really didn't want to go back to.

The ministry had been decorated with Halloween decorations. It was beautiful really. She glanced around as she walked through the door and into the hall where the ball was being held. She smiled at Molly and Arthur hugging them as they fussed over her.

"How are you doing dearie?" Molly asked with a smile and a pinch of Hermione's cheek.

"I'm doing well." The older woman nodded and Arthur patted her on the shoulder. She spotted Ginny and Harry with Ron. Ginny's bump was looking big as ever and Hermione stepped toward them with a slight smile. The couple hugged her and Ron gave her an awkward wave that she returned.

"Ginny you look beautiful." Hermione commented and Harry looked at his wife with a smile and squeezed her shoulder a little tighter from affection.

"You clean up nicely Hermione." She turned to the soft voice of Ron and narrowed her brow. He didn't have a girl on his arm like he usually did and she was skeptical as he stepped toward her. Music was playing and people were already dancing. "Dance with me?" She chewed the inside of her lip before nodding.

They swayed for a minute. His hand on her lower back and her hand in his.

"Hermione?" She had been avoiding looking at him, but now she made eye contact.

"Hmm?"

"Did you ever love me? Even when we said our vows and you were my wife." Hermione didn't know whether to lie to him or tell the truth. She decided on the latter.

"I don't know. I knew I loved you once. I thought that our relationship would protect me from everything I was dealing with and it didn't. I could only see you as a friend. There was nothing there like there was when we were kids." Ron contemplated her words and pushed her beneath their intertwined arms to spin her before pulling her back to his chest.

"Did you cheat on me with my brothers?" She was curious about why he wanted this information months after their divorce. She shook her head and frowned glancing at the aforementioned twins who had Angelina between the two of them at the desert table. Turning away she tried to focus on something else.

"Did you cheat on me Ron?" She asked with a frown as she looked at his face. He looked older somehow. He didn't look like a little kid who was trying to find his pet rat anymore. He nodded and she felt her heart sink. "Thanks for being honest." She whispered as the song ended and she pulled away from him. He pressed a kiss to her temple and she turned away from him and toward the table where the twins were at.

She glanced at the table and finally settled on a cup of water. "Do you boys always share girls?" She asked with a frown as she followed their eyes to where Angelina was talking to Kingsley. They shrugged in unison and turned toward her.

"Depends. Do you always dance with your exes?" She chewed her lip and shrugged as they had at her question.

Her head was spinning as she stepped toward Kingsley. People were clapping for her but all she could hear was a ringing in her ears. She didn't want to be recognized for the work she did during the battles. She wanted to forget it ever happened. As the minister read a list of names of the people that she saved she could feel the bile rise in her throat, and saw familiar faces in the crowd beaming up at her. The room was swaying, and she was about to hit the floor when a pair of hands grabbed her and held her up.

"Hermione?" She felt cold water splash her face and she jerked up.

"What the hell?" She shrieked as she threw a blind punch at whoever had thrown water at her. Finally connecting her fist with flesh she wiped the water from her eyes and glanced at the nuisance(s). Fred and George were staring at her like she had a third eye. "I'm fine. Stop looking at me like that."

"You fainted in front of an entire room of ministry officials because they were congratulating your war efforts. I don't think you're fine." The sternness in George's voice caught her off guard and she blinked at him a minute fishing for something to say.

"Why do you care?" The twins looked at her wide eyed and Fred was the one to speak.

"Did you hit your head too or are you kidding?" She turned her head away from him, and realized that they had put her in a chair in the lobby.

"Thanks." She muttered and began to push herself out of the chair. "It was a mistake coming here. I'm going home."

"Let us take you."

"I don't think that is the best idea." She stood and turned away from them. Turning on her heel as she apparated back to her flat. She was nauseous as she held the table in her kitchen and tried to keep steady.

She regretted the decision of going back there. It was stupid and she didn't know why she did it. It would be too soon if she never saw those people again. She was enjoying her quiet life. No one was bothering her. She was alone like she always wanted.


	13. Make You Feel My Love

**Make You Feel My Love**

Christmas came and went, and so did New Years. She spent both of the holidays alone and wallowing in self pity. She often wondered why she didn't just give up. End it all, but she knew why. She knew two whys. She had been obsessing over them more recently than she had when she lived with them. They were the ones who had always been there. They were the ones who were always taking care of her.

She stopped by once. In Decemeber. Fred and George were treating two girls to dinner and she just watched them enjoy their meal while she stood out in the cold. She eventually went home and cried herself to sleep.

She thought that being alone was what she wanted. It made her feel better, but when she was separated from their warmth at night she realized that that wasn't what she wanted at all. She had gone almost five months without talking to them.

Now, she was sitting in the waiting room while Ginny gave birth. It was heavy on Hermione's heart that the poor child was being born the night before the anniversary of the battle where so many people died. Harry thought it was a good luck sign. A sign of hope. Of course he would. She couldn't remember who hugged her when they announced that it was a boy. She just remembered forcing a smile and clapping Harry on the back when he came out.

He had black hair like his father and the eyes of his mother and a pit was forming in the bottom of her stomach as she held him. He was perfect like she knew he would be, because Harry and Ginny were meant to be. It was fate. They were meant to have the perfect life that everyone else was jealous of.

"Does it make you want one?" She jumped when she felt a breath on her neck and could feel two people looking over her shoulders. She shrugged and soon passed the baby to Molly who was eagerly awaiting her grandson.

She was finally able to sneak away in the early morning and didn't notice when two sneaky redheads were following her.

"Where ya going Granger?" Fred called and she halted with a frown.

"Haven't you boys had enough excitement for one night?"

"Not quite." They stepped into her line of sight and she narrowed her eyes at them.

"Are you tired of ignoring everyone yet. Have you reached your point of enlightenment?" George asked as the two men stared at her. She glared at them before trying to sidestep them to no avail.

"Not quite." She mimicked with a daring tone. They smirked and she didn't know what to do except turn away from them. She took long strides toward the apparation point, and they trailed her the whole time. "I'm going home boys if you don't mind."

"Oh, we do." They said gripping her elbows. They apparated and she jerked against them once they were on solid ground. They drug her along with them as they pulled her up the stairs to a familiar flat.

"Let me go home." She begged too tired to stay and fight.

"Not until you tell us why you decided to run away from everyone here. Everyone who loves you!"

"You kicked me out!"

"You were running around like a little whore with that guy from the wedding! What did you want me to do?"

"It is none of your business who I'm running around with!"

"You rejected George and I when we tried to kiss you, but you will roll around with any random guy that you find on the street? That makes it my business!"

"It shouldn't matter who I'm with! Why do you care anyways?"

"For the smartest witch of our age you sure are dumb sometimes Hermione."

"And you're an asshole, but I dealt with you for almost a year didn't I?"

"You call _me_ an asshole, and yet you were the one who married my brother even though you were repulsed by him!"

"Don't you dare!" George was silent as he watched his brother and Hermione yell at each other. Her blood was boiling and heat had risen to her face as she clenched her fists at his low blow.

"It's nice to see the old Hermione is semi-back. At least you're not a walking zombie." He added snarkily. He was partly right. She didn't know when she had forgotten about the black void exactly, but it wasn't there anymore. That she could be thankful for.

"It's nice to see that you're still a big prat!" They were close to each other and Hermione went to take a step back, but Fred reached for her arm and pulled her to him planting his lips on hers. She tried to fight at first, but eventually gave up.

"Please don't run away again Hermione."

She gave into the hands that were holding her to his chest, and then lips that were pressed against hers. She kissed him back. She felt crazy. She felt like this was the stupidest thing that she had ever done, and yet she felt more alive than she had in the two years since the war.

Fred released her, and the once warm body was replaced by one that was identical. She could tell it was George by the way he kissed her. He was gentle and he had that way he held himself. He was quieter than his boisterous older brother, and the way he held her face as he kissed her was evidence of that. "Please come back Hermione…" The whisper brushed past her lips and she took a step back to gain some sort of hold on the world. She glanced between the two twins, and didn't know what to say. They were staring at her with eyes that made her feel like they could see into the depths of her soul, and she wasn't quite sure that she could handle it.

She took a step back to distance herself from them. Tripping clumsily over her own feet. She was frantic as she turned to the door and jerked it open. The last thing she heard as she apparated to her home was Fred yelling after her.

Tears streaked her face as she crawled into bed and tried to fall asleep.


	14. How

**How**

She was ringing up a teenage customer when the bell above the door rang and in walked two people that she just didn't want to deal with. The two redheads took a left and began to browse, and she suddenly wasn't sure if they found her or if they were just shopping around. "_Why the hell are they in a muggle shop?" _She hissed in a whisper. She turned to her co-worker and ducked beneath the counter. The twins were approaching the cashier and Hermione made frantic gestures for her not to reveal that she was here.

"Hermione…"

"We saw you duck behind the counter…"

"You can't hide princess." Hermione squeezed her eyes shut and stayed glue to the floor. Her heart rate was picking up as she tried to will herself invisible, even though she knew that it wasn't going to happen. She didn't know how they found her, but she knew that they would stand there the rest of the afternoon if she didn't talk to them. Picking herself up off the ground with all the strength she could muster, she cracked a smile at them and forced herself to chuckle.

"I was just trying my shoe. Is there something I can help you with?" Anna, her coworker, was looking at her with confused eyes, and Hermione just pretended not to notice.

"Liar." Fred spat. He was always hot tempered compared to his more docile brother. She tilted her head slightly and a fire that hadn't been in her chocolate eyes in a long time burned bright now.

"You can not just barge into my work. I have things to get done. I need you to leave." She hissed through gritted teeth. She ground her back teeth and tried not to raise her voice.

"We are only leaving if you agree to meet us later." Fred was glaring at her, but George was trying to be the peacemaker. He smiled at her and she softened her tense stance.

"When and where?" George turned the innocent smile into one that warned her of danger before turning away and calling over his shoulder as the two red heads left.

"The nice restaurant down the street. Eight o clock."

When she agreed to go out with them she didn't realize that it was going to require her to get dressed up. The only thing she had once she finished rummaging through her closet was a short black dress that Ginny had convinced her to get almost two years ago. Frowning and rubbing her temple she pulled it out and set it on the bed. She stared at it, wrapped in her towel and water dripping everywhere. She couldn't remember the last time that she had looked presentable for guys.

Going to the ball she had been forced to dress nicely. This was something entirely different. Letting out a puff of air she had an inner war with herself as she stared at the fabric. She was still as tiny as ever compared to what she had been at Hogwarts. While most of her clothes had finally been brought to her from the Burrow and Gimmauld place as well as various safe houses around the country, everything was too big. This was her only option.

Wrapping the towel in her hair she pulled the silky fabric up her legs and slid the straps on her arms. Her shoulders were bare and when she looked in the mirror she felt like she was wearing nothing more than a nightgown, but it would have to do.

Her heels clicked the floor as she stepped through the doors to the restaurant. Her eyes were done up with just enough makeup to make them look nice, and her heels were some she had borrowed from one of the girls at the shop. When the hostesses stared at her as she walked in she chewed the inside of her lip and hoped that the fabric that stopped at her upper thighs was long enough. "I'm looking for a set of twins. Red heads. Under the name Weasley." She could feel people staring and suddenly she felt self-conscious. This was completely out of place of her. The woman at the stand nodded and led her through the restaurant to a table at the back where the two boys were waiting. "Thank you."

She nodded to the woman and sat down at the table between the two of them. They were dressed nicely. They were dressed like real business men who were treating their office whore to dinner. She was dressed like said whore. Crossing her legs she glanced between the two of them.

"Alright. I'm here. Is there a reason you decided to bring me to the most expensive restaurant in town?" She asked with a frown.

"We decided that maybe we were a little brash with trying to get with you…"

"And thought that it may be easier to win you over if we tried to woo you like we should." She narrowed her brow at them and reached for the glass of wine the waiter brought. Tipping the flute of white wine to her lips she eyed them carefully. Calculating.

When had she forgotten about the war? She wondered as she glanced them over. When had she become more worried about two boys kissing her than all the people that had died? She figured that was what happened after war. That's what happened when life moved on and you decided to move on with it. Sighing. She had to come to a decision about what was happening between her and the twins. They were adamant about their advances and she could only run and hide so long.

"What do you want from me boys?" She asked as she tilted her head and looked at them. They sat there with the handsome smirks that they got when they knew they were about to get their way.

"You. That's all."

"It is unacceptable for a witch to date two boys." She challenged as she watched them. "What would you dear old mother think?" The boys just smirked.

"Oh, don't worry if anyone asks. You're just dating Fred." She frowned and took another drink of wine.

"Do you boys share everything?" Fred's hand was brushing against her knee before finally resting against her upper thigh.

"No, but you're too perfect for just one of us to have." Hermione glanced between the two of them and was thankful for the waiter when he arrived with salads and Fred broke the skin contact. She felt like she couldn't breathe and was suffocating in a small room where there was no time to think.

The two men had been there for her through everything, but did she want to be with both of them? Wasn't there some sort of law against that? Was that something she could handle? There was nothing holding her back. She was just working as a muggle in a bookstore, and she had nothing tying her down. Fred and George just kept popping back up and she was beginning to realize that maybe this was a sign.

When she was thoroughly stuffed on pasta and the wine had made her tipsy, Fred and George finally walked her out of the restaurant and she could tell that the hostess was judging her as she linked arms with the two of them and they walked her down the street to her flat.

When they reached the door she unlocked it and turned to say goodnight, but Fred was giving her a hazy look that she hadn't seen before, and though George was giving her the usual silence, there was a look on his face that had her stomach in knots. Fred reached out and grabbed the hem of her dress where it stopped short and tickled the back of her thighs. "I don't think that we can leave you here alone in a dress like that." The huskiness in his voice and the slight stubble on his chin had her looking at him in a way that she hadn't before. She would be lying if she said she wasn't intrigued by the thought of having both brothers.

His hand shifted from her dress to her backside. He pushed her across the threshold of her flat and kicked the door shut. When George took priority over her mouth and Fred had his hands on her hips, she didn't think that she could say no.

**A/N: **Thank you SO much for all the views and reads and the Story Favorites/Follows! You have no idea how much it means to me! This story started as a simple idea and I just couldn't stop writing it. It's awesome to know that you guys are enjoying it! Please if you are liking the story just leave a review/favorite it's what helps me know that people are reading and enjoying my work! I hope that you all have had a wonderful holiday and Happy New Year! - Rayn


	15. Family

**Family**

Fred was different from George in several ways. Though they were twins, Fred was more outgoing. Louder. He usually entertained the people in the joke shop while George rang them up. He was the charmer. The fast talker. He kissed fast and rough. His hands roamed over every inch of you and left trails of heat in their wake that you didn't know you were capable of feeling. He made you feel like you were worth something. Like you were worth more than an entire ocean and you were the only thing that mattered. He made her feel like a princess he was there to worship and serve.

She was curled against his side. George was off to the Burrow to help Molly with some chores, and they were alone. They hadn't decided to get out of bed yet. It was warm and the sheets were tangled around them haphazardly. Her hair was spread across the pillow in a mess of curls and tangles. He had his arm around her and she was tracing patterns on his chest. He looked down at her with those eyes that made her knees sink when she was standing, and being here with him made her feel less empty than she had felt in years.

His breathing was slow and even. The sign that he had only been awake a short amount of time, but still longer than she had been. The three of them had fallen into this comfortable relationship and had been for about a month now. It was weird to think that she crawled into bed each night with a set of twins that had been trying to get her attention for a year now. Tipping her head up to look at him she leaned into him as he pressed his lips to hers. His fingers were tracing her spine and causing goose bumps to rise on her skin despite the warmth.

"Time to get up Princess." Fred said as he brushed some of her hair out of her face. She didn't know when she had become so comfortable being around him in this way. Or being around George in this way either for that matter. She had just fallen into the life of ease that they offered her. Around them she didn't have to worry about things that had happened in the past or of the ghosts that haunted her dreams, because they were so full of light and laughter that they distracted her. They made her emptiness go away.

She often wondered why she didn't notice it in the years living with them. The way that they looked at her when they didn't think that she could see. The way Fred lingered longer just because she wanted to stay up a little later and he wanted to make sure that she wasn't alone. She didn't notice the way that Fred also watched her cook or make coffee or do housework. It was so appealing to him to watch her concentrate over the task like it was the last thing she would do in her life. She didn't notice these things then, but she noticed them now.

Her eyes were closed, but she could feel him staring. "Hermione… Time to get up. Things to do today." She felt him poking her sides in an attempt to tickle her, but they both knew that she wasn't ticklish. Rolling away from him she removed herself from the cocoon of handmade by-care-of-Molly quilts and headed toward the pile of clothes on top of the dresser that no one had bothered to fold after doing laundry.

"Are you sure we have to go to the Burrow? Isn't Ron going to be there with his new little fiancée?"

"You say that like you actually care…" She narrowed her eyes at him dangerously as she pulled a shirt over her head. "You can keep that off." He teased as he removed her hands from the shirt and pulled it back up. She rolled her eyes and pushed him back straightening out the top.

"Stop it. You're the one who said we had things to do today."

"Yes… Lots of things to do… You included Princess." She smacked him across the arm and turned away heading down the hallway and to the kitchen. "Well… you are in a joyous mood."

"You made me get out of bed! Of course I am!" She muttered as she detoured into the bathroom to brush her teeth and hair. The bedroom that she had been previously living in across the hall hadn't been entered or used since she moved out last. Now, it was just a storehouse for all their junk, and she would like to keep it that way. "So, you're parents think I'm dating you only. So it wouldn't be a good idea to make out with George while we're there right?" She teased as she looked at him through the mirror. He chuckled and muttered a hurry up before pushing out of the doorway.

The Burrow was the usual bustle of energy. Everyone was in town for summer vacation. Even Percy who had managed to take some time off of work. As Bill hugged her she saw the scars on his face were a mixture of old and new and as she hugged him she could feel him examining her with those eyes of his that always made her feel like they were searching her soul. "You're small Hermione. I feel like I could break you in half." The two hadn't spoken since after the war and apart from the Christmas cards and birthday cards she had sent every year (except for the last) they hadn't kept in contact.

She shrugged before moving to Fluer and their two kids. She was as beautiful as ever with another child on the way it seemed. The little ones tumbled toward her and she awkwardly entertained their wants before trying to desperately find an escape. She finally felt a familiar presence at her back and jolted up right thankful for the chance to get away from everyone. Taking Fred's hand she followed him into the kitchen where Molly was setting out dinner and the family was beginning to gather.

Hermione settled herself between the two twins listening to the banter back and forth between the Weasley's and nursing the headache she had from listening to the obnoxiously high voice of Ron's new fiancée with a tall glass of wine.

"How's your job treating you Hermione?" The attention turned to her as Arthur waited for her response. George had a hand on her knee beneath the table and Fred was holding her hand on top. It took her a minute to muster up a response.

"It's going well." She offered quietly hoping that was enough. She could see the exchanged look that Fred offered George across her and she frowned slightly.

"What exactly do you do there?" That was Arthur ever intrigued by all things muggle.

"Uh- I sell books and stock books. Normal things really. Things that you would do in a Wizard bookshop." George's hand was creeping steadily close to the edge of her shorts and Fred had put a hand across her shoulder and was rubbing his thumb in lazy circles. Heat was blossoming her neck and she glanced at Fred from the side of her eyes as Molly took over the conversation.

George was currently entertaining himself by making small tickling motions along the inside of her exposed thigh. "When did you and Fred start dating? I had no idea that you were even talking like that." Molly professed as she looked between the two. Fred smiled at Hermione and squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

"Well…" She sucked in a breath as George's hand moved elsewhere and a blush flushed her cheeks. "He came to the bookstore and asked me on a date and I guess we just hit it off…" She stammered through her sentence as George teased her beneath the table. Fred was laughing at something Ron said but was watching her out of the corner of his eyes with a pointed smile. From across the table she could see Ginny's ever calculating gaze that told her she knew exactly what was going on and that had her stomach tightening.

"Better not break her heart Freddie, she'll kill you, that one." Hermione mustered a smirk at Bill but couldn't help but notice Ginny whispering something to Harry and nudging her eyes in her direction.

"I don't think Hermione could ever have it in her heart to kill me." Fred joked and squeezed her shoulder again. Putting on a show for the family by kissing her cheek, which received an "Ew" from Ron and an "Aw" from the rest of the Weasley clan.

"Stop. You guys are sickening." Harry teased from across the table, but there was something else in his eyes as well. A knowledge that it seemed Ginny had imparted on him. No one took notice that George wasn't saying anything.

The boys were playing their usual game of Quidditch that they played every time there was a family get together. She was sitting next to Ginny holding the baby. "So you and Fred huh?" Hermione glanced at the girl and shrugged.

"Yeah." She watched as the twins raced through the air on their brooms taking turns winking at her as they passed.

"What about George?"

"What?" Heat rose to her face and she looked at her friend with wide eyes.

"I just mean. Isn't it odd for you two to be living with him like that?" Hermione took a breath and shrugged again, not bothering to say anything else. George landed his broom beside them and Hermione was put off at first when he came up and kissed her, but he tipped his hat at Ginny and began to back away. "Fred! Can't you just let me and your girlfriend have ten minutes? Honestly." Hermione passed the baby over to Ginny and smiled.

"I think I'm going to go get some water." She separated herself from the situation as quickly as possible, this was all a bit overwhelming.


	16. Another White Dash

**Another White Dash**

The bed was unusually empty. There were two bodies, but it was odd not having three. Fred was off doing who knew what down in the shop and George was sleeping so soundly that the past five attempts at waking him had been to no avail. Fred loved cuddling in bed, and oftentimes kept her warm in the cool mornings, but George on the other hand… did not. He turned his back to her and often didn't make contact with her at all unless there was some sexuality to it. This was the case on the fine morning of her birthday.

The thin body was turned away from her toward the wall and a few scars could be seen in the pale light that was trying to slip through their almost impenetrable curtains. She turned toward him and wrapped her arms around him holding him close to her as she tried to attract his body heat. Three months they had been together. Living like this pretending at playing house, and it seemed in these fleeting moments between being asleep and awake she had learned who they were. She had forgotten about all the things that made her weak and a failure and scared. She had focused on them and what they brought to the table. She focused on what she was when she was with them, and somehow forgotten through all of that that she was aging too. She didn't think it was possible to be able to age when the war felt like it was yesterday.

Except she was no longer a child playing at being an adult, and she was no longer just trying to pass school. She was wasting her life now. Wasting it away by trying to push everything away instead of accepting it and moving on. At twenty two years old, she had yet to even begin to try and accomplish any of the things that she, or the rest of the Wizarding World, thought she was going to, and as she lay there desperate for the warmth of one of her lovers she thought maybe it was time to grow up. Just a little.

"Happy Birthday Mione." The grumble from the sleeping form rumbled against her and she smiled slightly into his shoulder.

"Thank you." She whispered softly as she squeezed him tighter. She felt him place a hand over hers that was pressed against his chest.

"Love you." She didn't respond. His breathing evened out and she knew that he had fallen back asleep. She wasn't sure if she was ready for that. The formalities of love. She had married their brother for something that she liked to call love, and everyone could see how that ended. She wasn't exactly very good at this sort of thing.

She had slipped back to sleep pressed to George's back and barely noticed Fred's footsteps.

"Hey, sleepy heads! Get up!" Hermione blinked one eye open lazily and looked at Fred before rolling her eyes. She made to turn over and go back to sleep when a pair of arms were pulling her out of the warmth. She didn't know whether to laugh or fight him for removing her from the comfort of the bed. She chose to laugh.

"Where did you meet her?" Ron was looking at her with those big child like eyes that he always had. He always had been slightly aloof and it seemed he still was. The only reason she was sitting here with him was because the twins thought it was best that she try to amend their differences (Since it was her fault they had differences in the first place, and he did try to be a good guy).

"At an auror training I was doing in France. She's pretty isn't she?" Ron was looking at his fiancee the way that he used to look at her and she got this sinking feeling in her stomach as she watched the tall blonde look at him over her shoulder and smile with perfectly straight teeth that Hermione's parents would be proud of. She nodded carefully and forced a smile when the girl began their way.

"Your Ron's ex-wife right?" Hermione's eyes widened at the question because that wasn't usually something that you asked someone, but found herself nodding nonetheless. "He has good taste in women." She didn't know whether to feel flattered or offended, and decided to just go with the first one when the girl stuck out her hand. "I'm Anna."

"Hermione." The two exchanged a few awkward pleasantries while Ron nursed a glass of firewhiskey. She was thankful when George finally came and found her.

The small wizard pub was bustling with activity, and she had lost Ginny twenty minutes ago when Ron had taken over her attention. The group outing was their desperate attempt at normalcy for once. It was chance at the group of twenty one year olds to not deal with the pressures of an adulthood that came too soon. Glancing around she barely spotted Harry and Ginny's heads in the corner making out like a couple of sixteen year olds, and she couldn't help but laugh. George was currently trying to get her to dance and she let herself go as she awkwardly tripped over his feet and clung to his waist for stabilization. She was regretting the decision to have more than one drink.

"How are you feeling birthday girl?" The normally quiet twin was smiling down at her with breath that smelled of alcohol. She shrugged and leaned into his arms.

"The same. Am I supposed to feel different?" George didn't respond. Fred had soon replaced him and she watched George's retreating figure toward the bar.

"Are you almost ready to go home Princess?" She smiled up at Fred and nodded carefully.

"Please. This is all too much." Fred was staring at her and she turned away from him. She still wasn't quite used to the affection.

"Here's your present Hermione. Open it when you get back." Harry offered her a carefully wrapped gift that she knew Ginny must have wrapped. Ginny wrapped her bony arms around her shoulders and Hermione tried to return the hug.

"Thanks for coming guys." The couple smiled at her and she waved however as Harry apparated off Ginny turned back to her.

"Harry and I know what's going on with you and Fred and George. We support you." With another hug the younger girl left Hermione standing there stock still and cold.


	17. On Each Others Team

**On Each Others Team**

She tipped her eyes up at the other girl and smiled slightly. This was awkward. She wasn't sure why Lavender Brown of all people wanted to go to lunch with her. They hadn't spoken since the war. Partly because Lavender was dealing with losing her boyfriend of the time to the battle and partly because Hermione was dealing with Harry. They hadn't had time for each other or didn't want to make time for each other, but either way, here they were sharing a bowl of ice cream in Diagon Alley and stuttering out random snippets of conversation.

"Fred Weasley? I always thought you would stay with Ron…" The girl sticks the spoon in her mouth when Hermione narrows her eyes in a way that said "be careful".

"Didn't everyone?" She forces an awkward chuckle before spooning out some of the Vanilla herself.

"It's just strange. You were always so close. It was what everyone expected after the war…" She sighed. It wasn't like she hadn't heard this from everyone she happened to see from the school. "Fred is cute too though. More manly, if you will…" It was no secret that Lavender had a rather rampant sex life after the war. It was just what everyone had gotten used to. Hermione, however, was not about to discuss the intimate details of a relationship that she had with both brothers to a girl who most considered a whore.

"I guess." She shrugged and tried to get the awkward subject off of her. "Who are you with right now Lavender?" A giggle erupted from the other girl and she shot into a story about Dean Thomas, her latest catch.

"He treats me really nicely. He's strong in bed too. Not like the other guys! He takes control. I like that." Hermione rolls her eyes and shoves another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

"I didn't need to know that Lav-" The two had taken to laughing and giggling for the past ten minutes. Something that Hermione hadn't been able to do in a long time. It was getting easier.

"How is everyone? I know I haven't really been around…" Hermione and Lavender hadn't necessarily been close during school, but they had been friends. They had fought beside each other and that was what made their relationship stick.

"It's getting easier. Everything, that is. I don't suppose you ever finish grieving. It's harder on some of us than others, and for some it's easy." She shrugged and Lavender nods.

"How are _you_ holding up? I saw you at the ball…" She trails off when she sees Hermione pause the bite she was about to take of dessert. She didn't know what to say to that. She was different than she was months ago. Better. She wasn't healed. No one was, but she was better.

"I'm alright." That was the end of that conversation, and Lavender, who could never stay silent for long, moved on to something else. Turning to the side she glanced to see Diagon Alley bustling with people preparing to go back to Hogwarts next week. She didn't know why the tightening in her chest suddenly pained her, but she imagined that it had to do with the fact that she had wasted another year of not taking her N.E.W.T.s or doing anything of particular importance. Each day was getting harder and easier at the same time.

"What are you doing?" She didn't bother to glanced up from the book that she was reading and the notes that she was taking. She had left Lavender and began for the flat when she couldn't help but stop and watch all the students picking up their preparation books for the exam. She wanted that. She needed that.

She had hastily bought what she needed before she could change her mind and snuck past Fred and George in the shop as she came in. She had been in this chair for about two hours since.

"Hermione… What is this?" Fred picked up some of the papers between his fingers and scrunched his brow causing his features to look harsher than she knew that he meant.

"I just want to do something alright?" She muttered as she hugged tighter into the chair and scanned the pages quicker.

"You want to be a teacher?" George sounded confused as he glanced over Fred's shoulder. She shrugged in response and suddenly her courage was draining from her as she pursed her lips and a blush began to creep up her neck.

"I don't know… I'm tired of just sitting around letting what happened _years_ ago affect me! I'm tired not knowing what I'm supposed to do with my life! I'm _Hermione Granger_! I was supposed to do something great and instead I'm failing miserably and I can't take it anymore. Alright?" She snapped as she removed herself from the chair and gathered her things. She locked herself in their bedroom for the next three hours. She had been tempted to give in after thirty minutes, but it was the principle of the matter.

She finally emerged when the smell of food drifted beneath the crack in the door. She headed toward the kitchen with her head hung from embarrassment by her little outburst, but she didn't have to stay embarrassed long because George had soon enveloped her in his warmth. She smiled and clutched his shirt between her fingers.

"We don't want you to think that we are unsupportive Hermione. We just were unsure." George offers in the way of consolement. Fred nods in agreement and stirs the pot of soup.

"We care Hermione. That's all." She hugs George tighter smiling when he leans down to press a kiss to her lips.


End file.
